My Experience as a Pastor – A Grade of D, Actually, of 4 Ds.
Samuel Tan (Class 2001)
If you were to ask me how I would grade myself and my experience as a pastor, I would probably give myself a grade of D. Actually, I would give myself four Ds. Why D?
Demands
First, I feel that my pastoral experience has been very demanding. Being in a small church, I have experienced the many demands of the ministry, from songleading to playing the guitar to typing… answering the phone… preaching in the pulpit… washing the dishes… changing the busted lamps… counseling people… singing in the choir… doing visitation… teaching in the Sunday school… leading a Bible study… leading the prayer meeting… lending out books in the library… handling the overhead projector… making Powerpoint promotional presentations… ushering… taking pictures… planning for the whole church calendar… etc. In other words, being a pastor might mean becoming a jack-of-all-trade person.
At one point in my ministry, I remember sleeping only around 5 hours a day and going home late every night from Mondays to Saturdays. However, I am thankful that God raised up leaders in our church who are now helping out in ministries like songleading, emceeing, handling the OHP, ushering, etc. so I don’t need to do as much as before.
Yet the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. There are always more people to be reached than people willing to reach out. As a pastor, my experience is that there is always something to do to reach one more for Jesus. Thus, if I want to do well in the ministry, there will always be demands.
Since I have been involved in many ministries, I feel that being a pastor in my church has been a great opportunity for development. I have learned many things. I have developed some skills also. Aside from secretarial, musical and promotional skills, one thing that I thank God most is the experience of making Bible study materials for the church. I had the chance to make a 9-session BS material on John and a 4-session BS material on Acts.
Not only that, I have also learned to see myself as someone who lacks patience and love. I learned to see that all people have faults and that we need to understand one another. By understanding this, I am learning to be more patient and loving to people.
In the ministry, I have learned that growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ does not only mean having more knowledge about God, but also developing Christlike character. And I know that as I continue to serve God, I will continue to learn more and develop more Christlike character.
Furthermore, I know that by my own strength, I cannot develop Christlike character. I need to depend upon God. Many times, in the ministry, I feel like I do not know what to do anymore. But many times, God has shown me that I should learn to depend upon him. In dealing with different kinds of people, many times I do not know what to do or say. But God has been reminding me to depend upon him. In counseling the youth, many times I do not know how to encourage them. In making sermons, many times I feel that I do not know what to write. But God used those instances to make me depend upon Him. At one point in my service, I had less than a hundred pesos in my wallet. But God taught me to depend upon him.
And I experienced that we really can depend upon Him. Just when I had less than a hundred pesos in my wallet, the next day somebody gave me a love gift. Just when I needed wisdom to counsel, the right Scripture verses came to my mind. Just when I needed wisdom to make the sermon, God provided the right illustrations. Indeed God’s grace is more than sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in my weakness. We really can depend upon Him.
Yes, ministry has many demands. But its rewards have been more. When I see that the youth I counseled have grown more mature, it is a very delightful experience. When I finished preaching the sermon and people told me they were blessed, I am delighted because I know that God has used me to help other people.
Most of all, I am delighted whenever I remember that I am privileged to serve God fulltime. Jesus died for my sin and it is but proper for me to serve Him back as an expression of love and gratitude for Him. Even though there were times when I dropped into bed totally exhausted, when I remember His love for me, I become thankful and delighted to serve Him. And I know that as long as I’m alive, I will always be delighted to serve Him.
So if you were to ask me how I would grade myself in my experience as a pastor, I think I would get four Ds: demands, development, dependence, and delight. But hopefully when I get to heaven I won’t get a grade of D. I pray that God will approve of me and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”